The Laws of Unity: The Champion's Sparrow
by JaneSwan
Summary: Sequel to A Blighted Beginning. Across the sea, a country proclaimed her as the Hero of Ferelden. The girl from our world was no hero—she simply moved onto the next life. Now follower to the soon to be Champion of Kirkwall, the little sparrow will not be overcome by the mighty hawk's shadow.
1. What if I was the Hero of Ferelden?

**Author's Note:** If you have **_NOT READ A BLIGHTED BEGINNING _**turn back now or proceed at your own risk. You can find the story under my profile page, The Laws of Unity: A Blighted Beginning. It's the first in this series.

I repeat **_THIS IS A SEQUEL._**

But if you want to ruin it for yourself, that's cool too. You do you, my friends.

Happy reading!~

* * *

 **Ostagar, one year ago**

Garret Hawke could see the Grey Warden stalking about campfires, her eyes sharp and hard as she seemed to stare everyone in the face before moving on, growing more and more agitated. He idly wondered why the young warden was away from her own and weaving between the King's army's campground. He was certain the woman had nearly no reason to be there—maybe someone had offended her and she was here to settle a score? He imaged several different instances. Perhaps she was looking for a lover? Someone who owed her money from one of the infamous card games that occur on this side of the camp.

All of them were wrong when the woman stopped at his fire and stared him down.

"You're Hawke, aren't you?" Her voice was soft yet held the cold authority of someone born to privilege.

Hawke stared at her blankly, not bothering to hide the way he sized her up, looking her form up and down. Her red hair was far too shiny for a soldier, armor too new to have seen battle. He was dubious of her, brow raising. "Depends on who is asking, I suppose," his voice rumbled, setting aside his polearm. The metal blade reflected the roaring fire, deadly yet holding the promise of so much more.

The woman nods, arms folding behind her. She didn't seem to be bothered with the way Hawke had stared. "My name is Rosalind Cousland."

Both of his brows raised at that. Everyone in Ferelden knew who she was, a family second only to the royals. Yet for her to be a Warden..?

"I wish to have a word with you. If you would join me?"

Hawke was standing before he'd decided to listen to what the lady had to say, lips curling into a satisfied smirk when he realized she was staring. "Lead on, my lady."

.

Hawke stared at the coin purse the Warden had forced into her hands. His eyes flew to the woman, brows furrowing over his ice blue eyes. "What you're telling me to do is treason!" He hissed under his breath, trying to give the coin purse back.

"What I'm telling you to do will save your family." Cousland's voice was cold, knowing. Hawke knew she didn't doubt her words in the slightest. "The battle here tomorrow will end horribly. You will lose Bethany in your escape."

The look he gave her should have caused the woman some fear, yet she showed none. "How do you know my sister's name?"

Bethany was his baby sister, one he would stop at nothing to protect from the Blight and Templars alike. Which is why she stayed at home with their mother.

"I am your ally, Hawke. I know you love your family dearly, your mother Leandra, Bethany and Carver. I know you strive to take care of them after Malcolm passed." The Warden's face grew softer, pleading. "I'm asking you to swallow your pride and protect your family."

There was something almost heartbreaking in her countenance that reminded him so much of his younger sister. "If you know this, why are you still here?"

The Warden had a strange look on her face, like she didn't quite know. "Because I have to."

The woman was strange, yes, but Garret knew he would follow her words. There was one thing that bothered him, however. "Rosalind."

She blinked at him, head tilting to the side.

"There is one thing that you've missed as you spoke of my family."

She blinked before her lips curled into a large smile. "Marian."

The strangest sensation came over him when he said his sister's name, like his heart was being squeezed. "Yes. My younger sister. You know of her as well then."

The Warden smiled sadly and his chest responded to it. "Make a life for your family in Kirkwall. Protect them."

"Why is it you are so insistent?"

"Because I couldn't save my family. But you will."

And then she turned and walked away.

* * *

 **Kirkwall, Present**

It was the strangest sensation—one moment being free and unrestrained and the next being shoved viciously into a body not your own, you spirit twisting this way and that as it tried to settle or escape, whichever came first.

My first breath was full of pain and relief—it was weird to be alive and know that I had died what felt like moments ago. I didn't know how long I laid there, eyes closed as I became acquainted with my new body. It spasmed around me as my soul tried to slip into all the little crevasses. It felt as if it wished to reject me—and with the pain that blossomed in my chest, I wished it would reject me to.

I could still remember watching Alistair as he slept, unaware that I was about to sacrifice myself for his world and my freedom.

My eyes slowly opened, telling me what I already knew: I was alone.

Alone and unsure just where I was. _Who_ I was.

My head lulled to the side, light hair falling into my eyes. The strangeness of it struck me—I was supposed to have dark red hair, not these curls of gold. I willed it to change, to take on the attribute of fire and burn but it denied me that comfort.

Slowly, the desire to lay there and waste away slipped from my grasp. Each time I blinked, I saw Alistair's face on the back of my lids, my promise still on my lips.

" _I will come back to you."_

I slowly pushed myself up, my body slow to respond to my commands. I pulled myself from the bed unsteadily, legs shorter than what I was used to. A new body meant a new reach. The problem now was.. who was I supposed to be pretending to be?

Memories slowly trickled in as I thought harder, familiar and fuzzy just like Rosalind's was once. The more I concentrated, the more clear they became. The more I remembered, the more likely I would be able to pretend to be someone I was not.

I glanced down, thanking my lucky stars that I hadn't accidentally become a man. That would have sucked.

"Finally awake, are you?"

The voice was familiar in a way that I knew I had heard it before but I didn't really.. _remember_ who it belonged to. I looked to the voice, blinking at the man that stood in the door way, leaning against the door frame as he eyed me.

Hawke. I had given him a pouch of coins in my last life, told him to desert. Seeing him now, did that mean it worked?

I inwardly cursed as I tried to force the memories to come—why was I with him? Who was I supposed to be? I prayed it wasn't that I was his sister. If there was one thing I knew about Hawke, he loved his family. He'd know if I wasn't.. Bethany?

Pain seared through my mind, causing my hands to quickly raise, catching my head. I tried to stabilize myself, but it only helped to send me to the bed, flopping over uselessly.

"Hey, take it easy," I heard the gruff man murmur worriedly as his hands rest on my head. It wasn't a moment later that I felt the soothing mana easing the pain, reminding me of Wynne. "You were passed out when I found you. Just rest."

As the pain cleared it became apparent that I didn't have many memories available from this girl. She boarded a boat from Ferelden but had nothing but the clothing on her back and..

I threw my gaze around the room, worry inciting anxiety.

..and a small bag that held everything that would ensure her survival in the Free Marches that was conveniently missing.

Well, that's great. She was robbed by the Lowtown low-lives.

"Shit," I muttered, eyes pulled to Hawke's as he raised his brows. I tried to get up, to no avail. Hawke held me down. "I need to kill someone—let me go."

"And here I was thinking you were going to be the sweet damsel in distress."

"You just want to get in my pants."

He let out a soft—and fake—gasp as he released me. "How crass! And completely true. Tell me, spitfire, how do you intend to kill whoever _clearly_ got the drop on you?"

"You're just bored, aren't you?"  
He shrugged, his hand dropping onto my head, ruffling my hair in a familiar manner. "Guilty, I suppose. I just can't let a little thing like you go off on an adventure without me."

I frowned up at him, probably looking as annoyed as a kitten. "I'm not little." At least, I wasn't in my last body. I quickly looked at the differences in our height and paled. "You're just a giant."

He let out a hearty laugh before leading me out of the room and down a large staircase. It took me longer than usual to notice that we were in a large manor, vast and spacious, bedrooms lining the halls. He took me into his study, directing me to sit in front of the fire in a large chair I recognized.

They'd already taken back the Amell manor. Did that mean he had already gone down to the deep roads?

"This isn't the front door," I pointed out, folding my arms.

"No, it's not. So glad you have working eyes."

"I said I needed to kill someone."

"You did. But I can also tell you've not eaten in quite some time. One moment." He took a deep breath before letting out a loud bellow, "BODAHN! FOOD, PLEASE!" He turned back to me, grinning widely.

But it wasn't just Bodahn, who's name pulled mixed emotions from me, that came into the room with trays of food. Leandra came sweeping into the room after him, looking far too happy to be returned to her previous social standing. She was adorned in silks that looked far too expensive, her hair pulled back in an elaborate up-do and a sneer pulling at her lips.

"I see your newest project has awoken."

I blinked up at her, brows pulling down over my eyes. Project? Who was she calling a project?

"Mother," Hawke signed, displeasure clear on the lines of his face as he frowned.

She didn't look chastised, staring at me like she thought I was no better than a flea on a dog's back.

She had no idea she was speaking to her benefactor, the reason she was even here in Kirkwall with hopefully all her children. And she was lowering her chances of surviving in this place.

"Is she not that? You've been dragging in the filth of Lowtown for weeks now. How is she any different?"

Garrett clearly looked like he'd handled this same argument time and time again but I didn't want to put up with some crotchity old woman trying to put me down. I was the _Hero of Ferelden_ and while I couldn't shove that in people's faces.. Dammit! I was pissed. I shoved myself out of the chair, swiping one of Bodahn's sandwiches with a grateful look that was mingled with pain (it had been a year already, then) before I faced the old woman, trying my hardest to be the bigger person and pulling on Rosalind for the right words.

"You've been gone far too long, _Leandra,_ you've forgotten that a noble's duty is to those lower than them." She sniffed at me, insulted, but I didn't care. "Thank you for your aid, Hawke. I am in your debt. I will be taking my leave now, however."

I kind of succeeded.

Turning on my heel, I made my way out of the manor, my feet knowing the way thankfully.

I only barely got outside into Hightown before someone was shoving me into an alleyway, their golden eyes flashing dangerously above me.

"How did you know our names?" Hawke growled.

I forgot he hadn't told me them. It had been quite a long time since I had to filter what I said. Welp, Hawke was going to have to deal with crazier things. He might as well know.

"Because it's what I do."

"What you do? Are you a spy?"

"No, _knowing_ is what I do. I'm a seerer, Hawke. It's how I know who you are, who your family is, what you have done and what you will do. Probably. The future is rather chaotic."

He looked dubious, sneering down at me. "You expect me to believe that?"

He tightened his hold on me and it caused a flair of pain. My magic fizzled at the threat, coming alive under my skin in an effort to defend me. The knowledge that it was still there, that I had brought it with me, sent relief flowing through me.

"Would you believe me if I said I was the Hero of Ferelden?"


	2. The New Party

Garrett Hawke was _pissed._ The moment the words left my mouth, there was a visible change in his countenance, his hands tightening around my shoulders before one of them moved to my throat to give me a good warning squeeze.

My eyes went wide as my airway was suddenly cut off, fingers reaching to claw at his hand. It felt like my eyes wanted to bug out, tears pooling in the corners as I gasped for breath.

"The Hero of Ferelden is dead." He said my title with such reverence, as if he worshiped her as the new Andraste. To claim the title was an insult against her in his mind. "Try again," he hissed menacingly, his thick fingers tightening around my neck.

I could feel myself weakening, could feel the same pull that had called my spirit from Rosalind Cousland's body calling again, offering me relief. For a moment, the sweet numbness of being a spirit drifting painlessly appealed to me. But I knew it wouldn't last long before I was placed in another body, in another story. No, if I didn't do something now, I might never see Alistair or Adrien again.. And I desperately wanted to.

My magic seemed to react faster in this body than the last, obeying my wishes by shoving energy out from every direction. It felt impossible for it to shake his large hand, but it forced him to completely release me, slamming Hawke's large body into the other wall of the alley. I fell to my knees immediately, hands catching me on the ground as I let out loud whooping coughs and drew precious oxygen into my lungs unrestricted.

When I had enough energy to stand, I pulled myself up, looking over Hawke who might have gotten a concussion.

"The eve of the battle of Ostagar, I came to you. I looked differently than now, but I came to you nonetheless with a bag of coins and demanded that you take your family and flee." He was looked up at me dumbfounded as I leaned on my wall, shooting him a stern glare. "While I understand your distrust, I do not appreciate having the life squeezed out of me. I just died recently and I don't wish to go through that anytime soon, Hawke."

He was staring at me with awe like I was an oasis after wandering the desert for who knows how long, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open. It was awhile before he spoke, simply staring at me like he couldn't comprehend what I had just said. I took the time to take deep, calming breaths, touching my neck tenderly where a bruise would form. Great.

"..I never told anyone," he whispered.

"Didn't figure you would," I responded sourly, hissing at the pain.

Hawke jumped up faster than I expected him to, once more standing over me. My magic flared as I tried to inch away from him, worried this was just going to be another attack. He held up his hands, an apologetic look on his face.

"I.. I'm sorry." It looked difficult for him to admit a wrong, his eyes filled with shame as he forced himself to stare at the damage he caused me. "The Hero—you," he corrected, "gave me a way to save my family. I will never be able to repay you for that.. And now I've done something unspeakable."

I let out a sigh and let him come closer, allowing his large hand to touch me once more. Feather light caresses tilted my head up and to the side, allowing him to get the best look at my neck. He smoothed his fingers over it in brushing motions, his mana spilling into me lightly as he forced my cells to regenerate at a faster rate to heal. It was soothing in light of the pain I had felt and I let my eyes close to the sensation of it.

"..Why do you look the way you do? You died, didn't you?"

"Yes," I breathed just as he finished healing me. "I killed the Archdemon and died in the process." I looked down at my hand, so foreign now. It was soft where I was used to callouses, the fingers smaller and longer. I would have to train this body to be up to par with what I needed. Telling him that I was simply living a story to give me experiences didn't sit right with me so I skimmed over it with a white lie. "I don't know for what purpose exactly, but I died and woke up as this girl who's only prized possession was stolen in Lowtown, probably around the Hanged Man which is why you would find me."

"I don't understand how any of this is possible.."

"How is magic possible?" I question.

"The fade."

"There you go," I nod, deciding it was a good enough excuse. You could really blame anything on the Fade. Templars had it too easy. I look around me, trying to remember where in Hightown I was exactly. "But speaking of the prized possession.. I need to go find that and kill whoever took it."

I moved to leave him but his hand on my wrist stopped me. I looked up in question at him, his eyes burning a hole through my head with how intense he looked.

"I can accept that you are the Hero of Ferelden. I can accept you calling yourself a seerer. What I _can't_ accept is you rushing into some battle alone.. With no weapons."

I blinked up at him, looked down at myself. He was right—I had no weapons to speak of on my form. All I had was the skin on my back and my magic.

Battles had been won with less.

I shrugged at him, pointed staring at his hand on my wrist, waiting for him to get the picture and let me go. "I have magic."

"No."

The man looked so similar to my brother from my last life, Adrien, that it chilled me to the bone. It only lasted a moment before irritation won out. My brows furrowed as I looked up at him. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I mean, no, you're not going."

"Didn't I tell you I needed to?"

"I don't mean you can't ever go. I'm just saying you can't go alone."

My lips twist at him, unsure if I have time to get dragged along by Hawke. He is always high and demand had probably has five other 'quests' he has been asked to complete.

I give an experimental tug on his hand and quickly realize the futility of it. This man was made of steel.

"But first, I need to pick up a few of my people."

I let out a sigh. Of course. "Do we have to?" I didn't even care that I sounded whiny.

He rolled his eyes at me, his hand slipping down my wrist to my hand to tug me along. "Do you want to stay alive?"

"..Maybe," I grumble.

"There you go."

.

It was walking into a movie, or right into the game. There was a group of people crowded around a table too small for their group, cards being thrown, alcohol slushed, and slurs tossed between the participates as everyone in the Hanged Man looked on with relative envy.

The Hanged Man itself was just as I remembered it, with the added bonus of the smells everyone went on about. Stale piss and nasty alcohol seemed to attack the nostrils, making me wish I could plug my nose while Hawke took a large breath of it. He looked happy as he grinned at his rag-tag group of misfits and friends. This place was probably a lot less stuffy compared to the Amell manor in Hightown where there was less expectation and more fun.

He pulled me right up to the group, not bothering to release the hand he'd used to keep me moving through the back streets of Hightown, allowing us to skip all the bandits that were no doubt waiting to make their move.

The dwarf at the head of the table noticed us first, his lips curling into a smirk as he looked from Hawke to our joined hands. "Looks like Hawke has someone he wants us to meet," he announced, turning everyone's heads our way.

The only truly familiar face at the table had me sucking in a deep breath, Anders looking just as he did the last time I saw him at the feast before I left to face the Archdemon alone: happy and curious as he raised a brow at me. I was struck by the impossible question of whether or not I tell him who I am, but I was reminded that while I got him out of the Circle's control for awhile, I was never particularly close with him. He was closer with Leliana and Wynne—my lips curled into a soft smile at the thought of them making their own sewing circle as they gossip like old ladies.

"Everyone," Hawke said as he had their attention, "this is..." He suddenly frowned, realizing he didn't actually know my name. He knew I was a Cousland in my last life probably, but not right now.

"Aww," I responded quickly enough as I stalled. What name could I go by? "Forgot my name already, Hawke? I'm heartbroken." I turn to the others, smiling at them like they were my old friends—which in a way they were. "My name is Lila but everyone calls me Lily."

"Oooh, like the flower, right? Such a pretty name," the female elf at the table responded without missing a beat. I offered her a smile in return, my eyes scanning over everyone else.

Fenris looked unimpressed, staring up at me for a moment before looking back to his cards.

Sebastian politely nodded, but I didn't expect much else from the choir-boy.

"Nope," Varric declared as he folded his arms and shook his head. "We already have Daisy, another flower might throw us off."

"Varric—" Hawke tried.

"It's okay," I shrug, cutting Hawke off. "I'm here to hire you, not kick your ass at Old Maid."

Varric's brows rose, his smirk turning into a full grin. "Well, little lady, it's your lucky day. I just finished clearing out Broody's coin purse. A little more can't hurt," he winked as 'Broody' (Fenris) sulked. "There will be time for _me_ to kick your ass at Old Maid later."

Varric's approval somewhat secured, I looked over at Isabela, who had been eyeing me up and down like a piece of candy, watching as I handle myself while keeping a close eye on the fact that Hawke had yet to release my hand. I finally pulled my fingers away, Hawke giving me a large and unapologetic grin. He was at least letting me go—he knew I probably wouldn't make a run for it.

Isabela pulled herself from her seat at the table, her movements similar to a feline as she sashayed over to us. She circled me like I was her prey, lifting up a lock of hair, smoothing her fingers over my shoulder, stomach, and sides. She finally ended up behind Hawke, draping herself over him as she stared at me with a territorial gleam in her eye.

Ah, she was intimidated by me. I looked between Hawke and Isabela, deciding he had probably already ended up sleeping with her enough that she'd felt the need to claim him. Strange for her, but I knew it could happen eventually. What was more surprising was that she wasn't instigating a threesome or just trying to do me herself. It felt just a bit out of character.

"Odd," she purred from his shoulder. "You don't usually bring your clients to us, _Garrett._ "

"She does have a point there, Hawke," Fenris agreed.

I frowned, deciding this was percisely why I didn't want to get dragged around by Hawke. Because his companions were _drama._ My last party were go-getters. We ended the Blight, for Maker's sake. Bioware just didn't make them like they used to.

But maybe it was also because Isabela was rubbing me the wrong way with how she was now clinging to Hawke's arm and shoving her breasts against it as she stared me down.

"Well, it was a nice sentiment, Hawke, but I think I can figure _something_ out. I'd hate to pull your friends away from their game." I shrugged my shoulders like it couldn't be helped. I was able to turn on my heel and take one step before Hawke had shrugged off Isabela and had latched onto me, holding me in place.

"Andraste's tits, woman," he grumped, hand pushing his hair back. He turned his head, giving his party a hard look before barking out orders. "Varric, Fenris, you guys are with me. Let's go."

Isabela looked like she wanted to say something, but one glance at Hawke could tell you he wasn't in the mood for it. She glared at me as we walked out of the Hanged Man, leaving her behind with Anders, Merril, and Sebastian. Not entirely the best company.


	3. A Hawke's Devotion

The work started the moment we walked outside. Varric and Hawke shared a look as I spotted several men surrounding us nonchalantly. Each looked like they were trying to seem inconspicuous, propped up against a wall, toeing a boot in the dirt, or absentmindedly cleaning a weapon. They tried so hard not to be noticed that they were noticed right away.

A low gravely sound came from the white haired elf next to me, his hands twitching at his sides with the need to yank his giant broadsword from its sheathe. Hawke caught Fenris's eye, communicating something with him silently before the elf slid closer to me—it wasn't hard to figure out that Hawke wanted him to guard me.

"They just don't make them like they used to, do they, Varric?"

"Not at all, Hawke. Seems we were in the Deep Roads too long," the dwarf rumbled back.

"My thoughts exactly!" Hawke exclaimed, ensuring every thug heard them. "This lot is rather pathetic."

It only pleased me a little that Garrett was sarcastic Hawke. As fun as he would be, there's a lot of people he'll make it his personal mission to piss off.

Maker help us all.

The men around us were not above being provoked, causing the leader to make himself known rather than allow his men to lose it.

The sound of clapping echoed in the cool night, making it difficult for me to tell where it was coming from. I didn't have to wait long before I pinpointed the origin, however, as boots withdrew themselves from a dark alley and the man connected to them came into the moonlight.

"That was easy," Hawke grinned, glancing back at me with a wink. I rolled my eyes in response.

"I should have known my little mouse would find someone with a reputation to protect her," the man purred, his dark eyes finding me. The way they roamed my body instantly made me disgusted. I needed a bath after that. The nasty eyes luckily pulled themselves from me and to Hawke, sizing him up. "I have heard of you, my good man. I do not know what she has told you, but that is my dearest niece and I have come to retrieve her."

The more he spoke, the more my mind began to fill in missing blanks in this girl's memory. His voice made my skin crawl and my eyes water—involuntary responses. I grit my teeth as I fought against it, locking my knees so that I wouldn't get knocked over by the sheer terror that was trying to take control of me. My magic seemed to be trying to calm me as well, electricity running up and down my limbs, begging to be let loose on the man who deserved this and so much more.

Blurry images burnt themselves into my mind—running, hiding, being found, being beaten... and worse. I shoved against it—I couldn't afford to be pulled into her memories here. Not when there was a potential fight on our hands.

My eyes found the back of Hawke's head, praying he wasn't about to be sweet talked by my.. uncle.

"I have prepared a reward, of course, for finding my precious niece."

"Precious?" Hawke questioned, his fists closing. "When I found your _dearest niece,"_ he spat at the man's feet in disdain, "she had been tortured so badly that she looked more corpse than living."

I blinked—I hadn't remembered being beaten horribly and when I had awakened, I didn't feel any pain from recent injuries. How long had Hawke cared for me, his new 'project', until I had recovered?

My 'uncle' didn't look at all upset by the news, shrugging his shoulders. "The price of training always seems rather steep to outsiders. But I have wasted enough time here. Come, my dear," he called, holding out his hand as if he expected me to take it.

Hawke looked back at me, eyes urging me to say no. He wasn't going to take away my choice—something I was grateful for.

"No," I growled at him, shaking my head with a glare. My blonde hair followed the movement, smacking Fenris in the arm. Varric promptly let out a startled chuckle before smothering it with a cough.

"You've heard her," Hawke quickly said to cover up Varric's blunder. "She's not going back with you. And as you can see, she's a grown woman who can make her own decisions."

My 'uncle' clicked his tongue, his face changing from one similar to a nobleman's into something resembling a villain, just like the face I now knew in my memories. "That girl is no more than a tool of House Valla, one you have no idea how to use. Return her or face the consequences," he threatened.

Hawke let out a humorless laugh, his glaive held at a ready stance. He looked like an oversized cat about to pounce, his muscles tense and posture intimidating. "Try me," he growled.

I'd never seen a mage cast so quickly—I blinked and by the time I'd open my eyes, one of my uncle's lackies were already on the ground, burning to death.

Hawke doesn't mess around.

.

"Maker, girl! You were trying so hard to look pissed and scary but then your hair smacked Fenris in the face.." Varric busted up laughing, speech becoming impossible with the weight of his laughter.

Fenris crossed his arms, looking away with an irritated look on his face as his cheeks were smudged red. He used this as an excuse to leave for the night, making a swift exit of the Amell Manor.

Hawke looked just as amused as Varric, though he was able to keep his laughter bottled. He reached for me, his fingers brushing my cheek. "You were adorable."

His rough voice, the way his golden eyes softened around the edges, his large fingers against my cheek, and the subtle smile he wore had me responding instantly, my face growing hot with embarrassment.

I sat up straighter, eyes unable to hold his as I grimaced. "I'm.. not."

His smile grew wider, nodding to me. "You are," he contradicted me, fingers firmly resting against my face, frozen in mid-caress.

I blinked, suddenly realizing that Varric had excused himself, leaving Hawke and I alone in his study.

His expression changed—he'd realized it, too. The smile slowly slipped from his face, his hand pulling away before it replaced itself in a different position—cupping my face with his large hand.

I sucked in a quick breath, startled by his boldness. The last time I had been touched like this.. it was Alistair's large hand as he wished me a good night... The night before I ended the Blight.

The reminder of Alistair had me pulling away, eyes dropping to the ground as I fought back the tears that accompanied thoughts of Alistair. Would I ever see him again? Would he believe it was even me? Would he have already moved on by now?

"..I'm sorry, Lily."

I quickly shook my head, wiping at the tears on my face as I grinned up at Hawke. I'm sure he saw through the attempt. "Don't apologize. It's just.. my past."

"You lost your brother.. when you died."

"Among others," I nodded.

Before I understood what was happening, I was plucked from my seat and carried to the large armchair before the fire, placed on Hawke's lap. His arms wrapped around me, large and full of strength, as he eased my head under his chin. It didn't take words to know that he was trying to get me to let out the pain that had rested heavily on my chest as his hands smoothed down my back and through my hair.

And just like that, my dam broke and my silent cries shook the both of us. There was only the sound of my tortured breaths, the crackling of the fire, and the calming sounds he made as he held onto me throughout the night. He offered me a reprieve of the pain, safety, and understanding. He knew.. exactly how I felt.

I cried harder, for both of us.

.

It had been so long since I'd had a normal morning. Light streamed in through the curtains, draping the room with a soft light that gave everything a hopeful feel. I was actually able to take in my surroundings, admiring the Amell style of interior design. Reds and golds surrounded me, a small fire burning in the fireplace to ward off the morning chill, a large bathtub in the corner peeking out from behind a privacy screen, a beautiful dresser, and the four poster bed I was currently laying in...

Suddenly, the room was very familiar and not just because I'd woken up in it the day prior. No, I knew this room the best from behind a computer screen, watching as several different companions joined my Hawke within its walls.

Movement jostled me just before an arm draped itself around my waist and pulled me back into a very solid chest. Very carefully, I turned just slightly to take in the face of the one holding me hostage.

I had had several different strategies for escaping. Screaming, using magic to remove him, squirm until holding onto me was more work than not. But all of them went out of my head the moment I saw Hawke's sleeping face. His hair was slightly disheveled from sleep and his eyes were closed peacefully. His face looked ten years younger, more boyish. The lines I had absentmindedly followed with my eyes the night before were gone along with the ceremonial war paint he'd smeared across the bridge of his nose.

Who could run from this man screaming?

"It's not polite to stare," he grumbled, his arm around my waist tightening before I was yanked back into his chest to where I couldn't look back.

"Um, then can you let me go?" I squeaked in response.

"No."

"But.."

"Sleep."

In some way, I felt like I was betraying Alistair.. But was it really betrayal if I had been 'dead' for a year and he'd moved on?

Either way, I had no answer for myself and no way to escape Hawke's arm. I found myself obeying before I'd even given my consent, my eyes sliding closed of their own accord.

.

Breakfast had come and gone by the time I was allowed to escape Hawke's arms but his butler, Bodahn, had left a tray of food right outside the room that I shared with Hawke. It was completely embarrassing and impossible to meet his eyes.

"Valla."

The name caused me to freeze in place, a breakfast pastry falling from my hand as terror overwhelmed me for a moment before I could shove through the involuntary response. How was this girl ever supposed to survive if the very sound of her last name caused her to have a mental break down?

I pulled a deep breath of relieving air before looking up at Hawke nonchalantly with a raised brow.

"That man who claimed to be your uncle said you were part of that family."

I slowly nodded, head tilting. It was certainly one way to take my mind off my embarrassment and break the ice. "Memories began trickling in after meeting him—memories from before I was in this body. He was the one behind the injuries you found me with. It is as he said—I am his niece."

He looked disgusted, turning away from me as he started pacing. "But that family is a member of the nobility.. How—why would he do something like that?"

I let out a sigh. I didn't even have to ask how he knew that. Varric, no doubt.

"I'm just barely piecing things together, myself. So forgive me if my explanation is lacking." Hawke nodded and I continued, "That man is named Kalvis. He married into the family, to my father's sister. My father was the head of the family and when he died, that role fell to me, his only heir.. or heiress. The problem was that I was a child when my father and mother died, leaving Kalvis my guardian. Problem is.. I am now legitimately old enough to become head of the family."

"Let me guess.. He didn't want to give up control," Hawke easily assumed.

I nodded, glaring into the fire. "This girl.. I was going to go to the Viscount, demand that he aid me in removing Kalvis from Valla. He sent his goons.. intercepted me and left me for dead. I'm fairly certain this girl _did_ die before I inhabited her body." I shook my head, clearing away the memories that plagued me. I didn't want to remember another death. "Anyways, they took the only thing I had to prove my claim. Letters with Kalvis's seal to hire my killers and a gift the Viscount himself gave to my mother. Turns out they'd been lovers, once."

I put on a brave face as I forced a smile at Hawke, who wore a deep set frown.

"You don't have to do that," he grumbled, moving to stand over me. The man towered above me, making me feel small. He reached out a hand—it looked like it would cup my cheek again but it ended up dropping on top of my head. "You don't have to act so tough."

My lips turned downwards in what felt like an impressive frown, brows furrowing. "I do, though. I feel like I'm falling apart. If I don't put on a front.. I might shatter."

Before I was even able to finish, his arms were wrapping around me, yanking me against his chest. My feet simply dangled, our height differences so large. "Then I will pick up the pieces. Rosalind.. Lillian. You're my savior. Let me help you."

Even if he had used my real name, Lillian, it had been so long since I'd been called by the name 'Rosalind' that I hadn't realized how much I missed it. I grounded my teeth against the onslaught of tears threatening to overwhelm me. "I really didn't.. do much, though."

"You did what no one else did." His facial hair scratched me as he whispered into my ear. "You gave me a future." I could hear the growl in his voice as he held me tighter. "And I will kill anyone that tries to take yours from you."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Sorry for the late post! It's been super hectic with finals and getting married (oh, yes, I am a married woman now!). Hopefully I can update more frequently. Until then!

~Jane


	4. Catching up and Preparation

"Alright. Give me the run down."

"Run down?" he repeated incredulously.

"You know, tell me what's been happening in Kirkwall. Bring me up to speed so I know what we're going to be facing." I poked the fire with a long cast-iron rod from the floor of his study, looking up to stare at Hawke in his armchair, making quite the striking picture. He had his head resting on top of his fist, the fire casting shadows over his broad body. It outlined the muscles pushing against the confides of his shirt and his golden eyes seemed to reflect the light like a cat.

He looked down at me, blinking before a look of understanding entered his eyes right before they started to smolder. In the firelight, it was almost too much. "Oh, going to tell me my future again? One would think you've become fixated on me. Not that I mind," he waggles his dark brows.

I rolled my eyes, cheeks flushing despite myself. "You are simply an important person to Thedas's history," I mutter, looking away. It didn't help that I'd always preferred Garrett to Marian—honestly, the men you romance as a woman in this timeline couldn't hold a candle to Alistair.. Or Garrett. It also didn't help that Garrett had a smoother voice than I remembered. It had me flushing with barely a handful of words and those glowing golden eyes...

Yep. I could tell by the look on Hawke's face that he knew for a _fact_ I was fixated on him. Damn him.

He smirked at me, triumphant, until a thought occurred to him. "Important? No... Don't tell me, I'm going to single-handedly save the city?" he deadpanned, the amusement emptying itself from his eyes.

"Not necessarily single-handed... Unless you want to. The first time."

He groaned. "The first time? All I want is to enjoy the high-life. Spend my days in my manor, nights in a shitty bar with shitty drinks that are piss-cheap and play old maid. Why do I have to clean up everyone's messes?"

I grinned up at him, my eyes crinkling at the edges with poorly placed glee. "Because you are you and you can't leave well enough alone."

"Don't you smile at me. I can't have it doing weird things to my heart when I'm trying to despair over my painful future."

His command had the opposite effect, only making my smile larger. "I can't seem to stop it. Shall I turn away then?" I was picking myself off the ground and turning on my heels without waiting for a response, prepared to wait until his overdramatics ended. My eyes fell on the snacks Bodahn had left out for us. There were cute little sandwiches that I had no idea he could make—maybe Sandal?— that I wanted to try. I only got a few steps away until large hands rested on my shoulders, easily spinning me around to face him before he rested a single hand on my cheek. The look in his eyes struck me to my core, the humor that had resided there disappeared and in it's wake was a seriousness I didn't often see on his face.

"Don't.. turn away from me." It sounded almost like he was pleading with me, as if he was afraid I would leave him. "Please," he whispered softly, his tone heartbreaking.

Things clicked then. I had only seen his mother in this manor, with her stuck up attitude that had Hawke sighing every time they came into contact. No Bethany to lighten the mood with her brightness. No Carver to contend with in that weird brotherly way. No Marian.. I hadn't seen his siblings once. He'd lost not only his brother.. But them, too.

I slowly nodded my head but knew I couldn't promise him what he truly needed. I hadn't lasted in Ferelden for longer than a year. I didn't know how long my time would last here.

"I can't promise to be with you forever. But.. I can promise you that I will stay with you for however long I can."

He gave me a tortured smile and suddenly I couldn't take it any longer. I snaked my arms around his waist, clinging to him tightly as my throat constricted with emotion.

"Thank you," he mumbled into my hair as his arms wrapped around me. He was shaking just slightly and I tried my hardest to be still for him to draw strength from. It didn't help that I barely reached his collar bone with the tip of my nose. From inside the circle of his arms I felt the safety I had felt in Alistair's and while it pained me to think of him—was I truly betraying him? When he had probably already moved on?— I knew I wasn't willing to pull myself from these arms. Hawke.. Garrett needed me in a way Alistair never had. A poor justification, maybe, but it helped me to move on, too.

There were no other words spoken—or needed. I knew what he needed. At least better than Isabela.

It was in that position, the two of us wrapped around the other, that his mother found us in. She made a loud gasping noise at the door, obviously disgusted by the sight. When Garrett didn't immediately distance himself from me, it turned into a mixture of gag and groan.

"Mother," Garrett ground out from above my head. I could feel his annoyance through the tension of his body and the movement of magic through the veil as he gave a pull on it.

From the sounds of it, Leandra had probably never seen Garrett show affection to anyone outside of his family.

"Release my son at once, harlot!" she cried behind me.

My face was firmly pressed under Garrett's chin. I couldn't remove myself.. Even if I wanted to.

"Mother," Garrett repeated, his voice becoming low and threatening.

"That girl will ruin you, Garrett! Everyone was talking about her at the last gala—that you refused to attend if you recall. I know all about how she's destroying her only remaining family"

His grip on me tightened. "Do not speak about what you do not understand, Mother."

"The Amells are barely returning to society and I will not have you _whoring_ around with her in broad daylight—in my home!"

Magic ripped through the air, slamming the door on Leandra and her accusations. I could hear her huff at the closed door before she turned and stomped her way to her room. The footsteps fading into the background, all that was left in the study was the sound of fire cracking the wood and our breathing, his a bit harder than mine.

It only makes sense that my uncle would go through those channels to discredit me, to ensure my defeat on all fronts. The martyr side of me wanted to leave so that I wouldn't cause Garrett any other problems, but I knew he would never let me.

"You just promised me, but you're already thinking about leaving. Aren't you?"

His voice startled me, so deep and demanding. It rumbled in his chest, right were my ear was.

I slowly nodded against the broad muscles of his chest, feeling his arms tighten more so. "Of course I quickly rejected that idea. You wouldn't want me to be a martyr. Or rather, you wouldn't let me." I knew him well enough to realize that.

"The hell I would," he agreed.

"..at the very least, I should probably find somewhere else to stay."

"No."

"Your mother has to be thinking up ways to get rid of me."

"Yep."

"So I shouldn't stay here."

"Nope."

"Garrett!" I groaned.

He hummed happily, nuzzling my hair. Obviously he wasn't going to let his mother dampen his mood. "It sounds nice when you say my name."

That was probably the first I'd actually used it, come to think of it. "I bet you think that of everyone, though. Since they all call you 'Hawke'."

"Nah."

"You're difficult."

"And you're beautiful."

I was so glad he couldn't see my face. It had already been red before, but I'm sure I was darker than a tomato now.

"Oh? No response? Have I officially won?"

"No!" I sputtered, using the momentary distraction to separate myself from him, ignoring his laughter. "Would you answer the question I asked before we got emotional and your mother attacked?"

He rolled his eyes, plopping himself down on his large armchair as he sent me a look that clearly said I kill his fun. "If we must," he sighed, reaching up to squeeze the bridge of his nose. "What do you want me to start with?"

"Just tell me everything you've been through since I last saw you."

"This is going to take ages."

"Only if you stall."

.

Carver lost to the Grey Wardens. (That was going to be a mess.) Bethany lost to the Circle. (So was that.) Marian lost to Ferelden. (She had refused to 'desert' when I'd told Garrett to get his family to Kirkwall a life ago.)

It seemed that even if I tried to change things, to give them a better fighting chance, life was determined to make Garrett lead a painful life. Now, all he had left was a stupid mother that would get herself killed if we didn't do something. But, with the way things went for his siblings, it's possible that she's just _destined_ to die just like I am. It wasn't going to make it any more easier—not on me, or Garrett.

Other than that, the expedition to the Deep Roads were done and over (thank heavens, I didn't want to see another dark spawn if its the last thing I did), he'd managed to rope together all his companions and take back his family manor since I'd last met him in Ostegar. He'd made good time, all-in-all.

I tried to think of the coming challenges he would face, see if I could come up with the necessary strategies to ensure we always came out on top. Origins was easier compared to this, felt more structured. Probably why the second game got so many mixed reviews. The retelling of Hawke's life is messy, filled with crazy mages and insane templars and red lyrium.

I shuddered. Red lyrium.

Garrett eyed me worriedly as we made our way to Lowtown, his gaze pausing as he took in my new robes that we'd just gotten me in Hightown."What's wrong?"

"Just thinking about how much I hate red lyrium."

The very thought of it had him shuddering as well, shaking his head as if to rid him of it. "Ugh, tell me about it. Are you telling me there will be more of it?"  
"In a few years."

"Oh, wonderful," was the sarcastic response. I nodded, returning to my thoughts as I absentmindedly smoothed my fingers over the fine stitching.

First things first—we needed to deal with the man responsible for the disappearances of women. Quentin, I believe. If I remember correctly, he had ties to the First Enchanter of the Circle. Then we would need to deal with the Qunari before things got out of hand. And then the issue with Meredith's red lyrium sword and Anders' little friend, Justice... Not to mention my personal character arc but that could be put on the back burner. I wasn't in any mood to deal with it currently.

"We have our work cut out for us," I grumbled as Garrett pulled open the door to the Hanged Man.

"That's why we're grabbing backup." He waited for a moment, holding the door open for me.

"I'll wait out here," I responded lightly, not in the mood to watch Isabela stare me down for 'stealing' her man. The confrontation was coming and I didn't particularly care to hasten it along.

Garrett frowned as he looked between me and the open doorway, torn. Already, I could smell the stench of the place that no doubt gave it 'character'.

"Lily." His tone was placating, his expression pleading. The way his eyes cast about Lowtown told me he was feeling paranoid about any men that might have been sent by my uncle. It made me feel cautious as well, pouting just a bit as I dipped below the arm propping the door open.

"Fine," I sighed.

The pleased beam he lobbed my way did messy things with my heart.

Messy things that disappeared soon as we climbed the stairs to Varric's table and my eyes promptly locked with Isabela's.

That was not a pretty face.

The ugly look quickly brightened, however, when her eyes found Garrett.

"What's this, Hawke?" Varric asked from the head of his table, surrounded by papers. "Does our lady have another quest for her valiant knights?"

"Something like that," he replied vaguely with a cheeky grinned. Maybe he liked the thought of being my knight? I rolled my eyes with a soft smile. He would.

I blinked as I was suddenly shoved aside—I was standing in front of Garrett, after all—sucking in a gasp of air as my shoulder slammed into the wall.

"Garrett!" I heard Isabela cry happily—it was pretty obvious that she was the reason for my bruised shoulder.

Turning with the intent to send her a death glare, I paused at the sight of her pressing her most likely diseased lips against Garrett's, pulling him down for a rather raunchy display of tongue and saliva.

I felt the tell tale drop of my stomach, the chilling of my limbs, and then the white hot fury of jealousy.

Dammit, I was infatuated.

Knew I should have stayed outside.

My eyes flickered away from the spectacle as Anders seemed to appear at my side, the medic in him answering the pain in my shoulder. He shot a glare Isabela's way on my behalf before holding a hand above my shoulder. Too bad his soothing mana couldn't heal my pride.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Seems you've gotten a little too close for her liking. She gets that way with everyone."

I forced a smile for Anders but I could tell he could see the hurt in my eyes. "Thanks." It was just like old times. All that I needed now was him tooting at me for being careless.

"You can't be careless, especially with who's after you and with her waiting in the shadows," he told me quietly.

There it was.

I let out a soft giggle, my smile finally feeling genuine on my lips. "That seems so like you to say, Anders."

He rolled his eyes at me, easily slipping into the comfortable pace. "And it's so like you to be.. careless..." he paused, staring at me strangely for a moment. I could see the confusion there—this was a conversation we'd used to have whenever Wynne didn't have the time to heal me.

I just kept smiling. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad for him to know it was me.

"I said no!" Garrett bellowed just as Anders took a step back. The look on his face hinted at what was to come. A moment later, I felt Garrett's large hand yank at my arm before I was suddenly hoisted upwards. "No means no, Isabela!"

I flailed momentarily, arms wrapping around Garrett's neck as one of his arms kept me secure by wrapping around my thighs. At least he hadn't thrown me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"We're leaving, Fenris, Varric!" Garrett barked before he stomped down the stairs and through the tavern.

Looking over his shoulder, I could see Isabela standing at the top of the stairs, the fury in her eyes dark and threatening. I could definitely consider this 'hastening it along'. Dammit, she was going to try to kill me, I just knew it.

By the time we were outside, both of Garrett's arms had found their way around my frame as he breathed hard. Obviously, Isabela's little attempt to retake his affections had failed horribly and managed to piss him off more than his mother.

I was positioned a little higher than him with the way he held me—for the first time I was taller than him. I didn't expect this to last at all. I unwrapped my arms from around his neck, knowing he wouldn't drop me before I carefully smoothed his hair down. It looked like Isabela had attempted to run her fingers through it and when he'd tried to pull away, she'd probably yanked on it to keep him there.

She was such a bitch that way.

"..Are you okay?" his voice was quiet, barely contained. Fenris and Varric had yet to exit the Hanged Man, most likely giving him a chance to calm himself. A pissed Hawke was a scary Hawke. You didn't know how he'd react occasionally.

"Mhmm. Anders looked over my shoulder." I kept my voice light, trying to soothe him.

He gave a small grunt, his golden eyes spearing me. "Anders was one of your companions once." It was a statement, not a question. Anders had no doubt told him.

I nodded, slowly threading my fingers through his hair. "Once. We weren't overly close, but he patched me up quite a few times."

"I should have healed you."

"You were busy," I acknowledged.

He grunted something under his breath just as Fenris and Varric decided to step out of the dirty bar.

"Hope we aren't interrupting anything?" Varric ventured with a smirk, eyeing me in Garrett's arms.

"Nope," I assured, wiggling until Garrett decided it wasn't worth it to try to keep me in his arms. He set me down gently with a small huff causing Varric's characteristic grin to widen.

"What is on the schedule for today?" Fenris inquired in his broody way. "More thugs in alleyways?"

"Nope," I repeated with a sigh, preparing myself to get down to business. "Firstly, I have to get a templar in my pocket."

"A little bit of political intrigue?" Varric looked far too happy about that. No doubt it'll become fodder for one of his stories.

"Indeed," I nodded, looking up at Garrett. He gave me his best reassuring smile, but I could tell he wasn't happy about it. For some reason, he was slightly jealous of my former companions.

Garrett took off, leading the rest of us and I was more than happy to let him lead. It wasn't something I wanted much to do with in this life.

Several deep breaths couldn't fight off my anxiety, causing me to shove through it as I followed after him. In the distance the Gallows loomed with its chains, pain, and oppression.

And with it, Cullen.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** *Pokes head out of hiding place* So.. I know it's been awhile, but forgive me?

Sorry, everyone! Married life and plotting an original story (webtoon, super excited) has kept me fairly busy. Excuses, I know. I'll do harder to be here. Especially since I've got plans for our Lillian through several fandoms and we aren't going anywhere with me stalling over here.

That said! **If there are any scenes you would be interested in seeing** (I am making this for you), let me know! Writer's block is a harlot and hounds me occasionally. It doesn't hurt to get some fresh ideas to make you all happy. I'm planning on introducing Solas in DAII, so we have that to look forward to. I'll also let you guys decide if you want me to have Lillian stick around for DAI or if you'd like to see something else. (Got plans for Skyrim, Lord of the Rings [mmm, legolas], Harry Potter, Marvel [hugh jackman *swoons*], Twilight [I'mma make is so much better #jasper], and a few more.) Tell me your favorite fandoms!

As always- till next time!

Jane


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